To Raise Dust with Our Feet: Opening Up Our Definition of Spirituality

wrestling-image(delivered by Rabbi Maderer at Shabbat service 12/18/16)  Last week I shared with you a time when I lived in the suburbs and my family overdid it in the area of home security.  I made fun of the way that, even with a burglar alarm in our house, we added to the front porch, an extra security measure: a big dog-food bowl.  Even though we did not have a dog.  I went on to make fun of — and to be clear, I was making fun of my mother– I went on to make fun of the way that, to make it seem real, we painted onto the bowl the name of our fake dog: Shomer, Hebrew for “guard.”

Funny story:  Last week, here in Philadelphia… you guessed it.  My garage was broken into.  Who here believes in karma?

Now, seriously, do you think there is a connection?  One week I am making fun of my mother for over-securing our house all those years ago, and days after I write those words, a break-in.  Coincidence?  Karma?  God? There was a time I would have said: there is no such thing as coincidence.  I believed God influenced the details of our lives.  Yet as my life and rabbinate move forward, I find my response to the world changes:  more questions, less certainty of God’s role, judgment, or expectation.Continue reading

Post-Election Complacency or Anxiety: An Alternative Path in the Stairway to Heaven

 

artwork-797_960_720(delivered by Rabbi Maderer in Shabbat Service 12/9/16)

Years ago when I lived in suburban NJ, there was a break-in in our neighborhood.  We already had a burglar alarm in our house, so we added to the front porch the only extra security measure we could think of: a big dog-food bowl.  We did not have a dog.  But we were going to scare those intruders away!  To make it seem real, we painted onto the bowl the name of our fake dog: Shomer, Hebrew for “guard.” Once guarded by Shomer, in our alarm-shielded house, we proceeded to protect ourselves with a light-timer, for evenings when we were out…

How much worry is too much worry?  Some of our concerns and precautions are well-founded.  But there is a point when our energy is so channeled into the worry that we are at risk of losing our focus and our purpose.  Meanwhile, the anxiety reduces us, to wasted grief.

As we think about our roles in civic life, teaching, parenting, business, politics, it is important to consider: where do I have control and what is beyond my control?Continue reading

Opening for Daylight: Seeing Difference this Krystallnacht

et1Last month, I had the opportunity to watch the movie E.T. as the Philadelphia Orchestra performed the John Williams score live with the screening of the film at the Kimmel Center.  It had been years since I had seen Steven Spielberg’s imaginative masterpiece about a lost alien who is befriended a 10 year old boy.

When I saw the movie as a child, I understood the message to be one of friendship.  Although friendship was still present, this time, I saw something different.  All of these years later, it was clear to me: the movie about the extra-terrestrial is an allegory.  When faced with difference, children are driven by curiosity and love.  Whereas many of the adults in the story see difference, and respond with fear, self-protection and even attack.

What is our inclination when we encounter something outside of ourselves?  Do we open our eyes to see?  Or do we remain covered, protected, in the dark?  Continue reading

Our Concealed Shortcomings: On Bias and Race

delivered by Rabbi Jill Maderer, Yom Kippur, Congregation Rodeph Shalom     

A story I love, from Rabbi Nachman of Brazslav.  A young woman visits her family and shares that she has become a master in the art of menorah making. She asks her parents to invite all of the other artisans in town to come see her masterpiece.  So all of the finest crafters come to view the menorah.  Later, the daughter asks her parents, “What did they think?” The parents reply, “We’re sorry to say, all of your fellow lamp-makers described a different flaw.” “Yes,” replies the daughter, “but that is the secret! They all say it was flawed, but what nobody realizes is this: Each sees a different part as blemished, but overlooks the mistakes that he himself would make.  You see, I made the menorah in this way on purpose — replete with deficiencies — in order to demonstrate that all of us have shortcomings.

Rabbi Nachman’s parable is drawn from the Psalmist, who calls to God: “Alumenu limor panecha” (Ps 90). “You can see our concealed darkness; You can see our concealed shortcomings, in the light of Your face.” God can see our shortcomings.Continue reading

Even in Darkness it is Possible to Create Light

elie-wiesel1There are people whom we witness from afar, who make an imprint, and whose stories even mark the stages of our own life and growth.

I have a sense that this kind of impact, that defines moments in our lives,  for some of us has been discovered through our encounter with the work of Elie Weisel, zichrono livracha, of blessed memory, who died this week.  I know this is true for me.  I can remember where I was when I encountered the contributions of Elie Weisel, in different points in my own life, and the lessons he taught me as he appeared on my personal timeline.

Do you remember where you were when you first read the book, Night? Continue reading

Breaking an Israel Filter Bubble: My Conversation with an Israeli Settler

5497134432_9c680ecc8f_nTo what degree do you feel like you live in a bubble of people who are just like you?  How often do you encounter people who challenge your assumptions, stretch your understanding?

In his article, “How 26 Tweets Broke My Filter Bubble,” B.J. May writes “I live in a small town in Middle America. My closest coworkers are all men, all heterosexual, all white.

I had never given this filter bubble much thought, really. But as I increased my consumption of Twitter to better keep up on tech topics, I began to feel uneasy. There were clearly lots of diverse voices in the industry. Women talked about the wage gap, about sexism in the workplace. Black developers posted highly upsetting accounts of bias. People all over my industry were sharing stories of injustice and hatred, of unfair treatment and outright abuse.

I struggled to make sense of it all. I didn’t feel like I had experienced or seen any of these terrible things.Continue reading

Out from Mental Illness and Addiction Stigma and Into the Sun

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Delivered this Shabbat in anticipation of former Congressman Patrick Kennedy’s upcoming talk at RS about mental health/addiction parity and de-stigmatization.    At some point during my adolescent years, my father came home with a package and presented it to my sister and me.  It was a box of 1000 red pencils, each adorned with the words, “Just say no.” With the image of a skull and crossbones right beside the slogan, on each one.  Never known for his subtlety, my father’s loving gift reflected the oversimplified messages he was hearing in the 1980’s, about how to keep your children safe.

By the time my red pencils ran out, scientists, educators, therapists and advocates began to discover more about struggles involving substance abuse and beyond.  What does it mean to understand the role of the genetic component to addiction?  Co-occurring disorders?  Or that the stigma of addiction and of mental illness which can strip away respect, dignity and compassion?

Consider the complexities of genetics, co-occurring disorders and stigma, on top of the challenges of peer pressure and temptations to escape, and the presumably well-meaning Just Say No slogan can become an obstacle.  The “just” makes abstinence sound simple.  Originally a response to a question a young child asked of Nancy Reagan, Just Say No, makes avoidance sound easy.

If you fail to Just Say No, because perhaps you have a disease that appears to the rest of us as a choice, we blame you you for having a character deficiency.  We assume your disorder is a result of your own wrongdoing, you are choosing a harmful path, you aren’t trying hard enough, we don’t want those choices to touch us, so we isolate you.  You know we are going to isolate you, so you hide your vulnerabilities and those of your family. Perhaps so much so that you delay getting care.  (Assuming you can afford care.)  And the cycle of stigma continues.

In a nation where the suicide rate is double the homicide rate, we need to remove obstacles to mental health care. And societal stigma does not bring people to treatment.Continue reading

Finding Access to Each Other: Jewish Disability Inclusion

Did you see or hear Stevie Wonder present an award at the Grammy broadcast last week?  He opens the envelope.  Then with everyone on the edge of their seats to hear the winner of that category, he turns his opened envelope towards the audience, to show us all the braille, as he chants with a smile, “You can’t read it; you can’t read braille, ah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!”  And he takes another second to relish the moment when, he could access information, that the seeing-audience, could not.  Stevie Wonder follows with the statement: “We need to make every single thing accessible to every single person with a disability.”

Does Stevie Wonder know that February was Jewish Disability Inclusion Awareness month?  Perhaps not.  Last month, designed to bring more awareness to disability inclusion in the Jewish community serves as a nice excuse to shed light on some challenges and opportunities we see in our spiritual life here at Rodeph Shalom.Continue reading

Choosing Gratitude

Last week, Dr. Dan Gottleib of WHYY hosted his final weekly Voices in the Family. He focused this final show on gratitude.  As callers thanked Dr. Dan for giving them something– courage or patience or thanks…  he responded: “I don’t give anyone anything that isn’t already there.  It’s about seeing what’s already there.”  (paraphrased)

Seeing what’s already there– this is Judaism’s approach to Thanksgiving.  One Hebrew term for gratitude is “hakarat hatov.”  The word thanks isn’t even in there.  Hakarat hatov means “recognizing the good.”  The good is already there.  It’s our mitzvah, our sacred action to, call it out. Why is it so important to call out the good — to see what’s already there?

One response comes from Ron Lieber, a Reform Jew and the author of  The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money.  Lieber believes that saying grace is one of the single best things parents can do for their kids — no matter what god you do or don’t believe in. He explains there’s a link between gratitude and lower levels of envy and depression, because gratitude helps us to feel a sense of satisfaction, a sense of enough. Continue reading

Turning Fate into Destiny with A “Sabbath Lie”

challah-lady-1445461668Can you see what this image, created by Anya Ulinich (speaking Sunday at RS) depicts?  A woman dressed in a business suit riding a Shabbat candle-fueled challah! The picture serves as an illustration for Susan Pashman’s column in the Jewish Forward, “My Big Sabbath Lie–And the Joy It Brought.

When Susan Pashman first became a single mother and sole wage-earner, she decided she needed to change careers in order to provide for her 2 sons.  So she went to law school and then secured a position in a prestigious firm.  That’s when she realized another problem: If she was going to work the expected 90-hour week, how would she find the time to provide a loving, caring home for her children?  Just then, Susan witnessed another member of the firm’s incoming cohort, explain to the boss that he was an observant Jew, and needed to leave early on Fridays and stay home on Saturdays, in order to observe the Sabbath.

Ah-hah!Continue reading