Shanah Tovah… and Shabbat Shalom! We’re celebrating the New Year and Shabbat on the same night. So let me tell you a story about a man named Yosef.
Yosef was a cobbler, which meant his hands were always cracked, his back always sore, and his wallet always close to empty. But every single Friday, no matter what, he filled his home with delicious food and wonderful people. Neighbors, friends, whoever needed a seat. Not so different from our Pre-Oneg Fest earlier this evening. Great food, sure, but really it was the room itself. People catching up, kids running between tables, the feeling of community. That’s exactly what Yosef was after, every week of his life.
He’d walk through the market on Friday mornings, stopping at every stall, asking each vendor the same question: do you have anything special today? I have an important guest coming. And when people asked him who this important guest was, he’d say, Shabbat. A little wine. A little bread. Whatever fish looked best, even if it cost more than he had. His neighbors gave him a nickname: Yosef Mokir Shabbes. Yosef, who treasures Shabbat.
Near Yosef, in a fortress at the edge of town, lived a man named Baltasar. Baltasar had thirteen boxes of gold coins locked away in his cellar. Frugal was a generous word for it. He counted his coins the way other people count sheep, every night before bed, and never spent a penny he didn’t have to.
One night Baltasar had a dream. His thirteen boxes of gold sprouted little feet and marched out of his fortress, down the street, into Yosef’s shop. Baltasar woke up screaming. He was so shaken that he consulted the astrologers in town, who told him his fortune was destined for Yosef. All of it.
So Baltasar sold everything, every last bit of property, and bought a single, enormous jewel with the money. He sewed it into the lining of his hat and never took it off, so he could always keep his eye on it.
One afternoon, Baltasar was crossing a bridge over the river, and a gust of wind caught his hat and knocked it into the water. He watched his entire fortune go under. A fish swam by and swallowed the jewel whole.
The next day was Friday, and when some fishermen hauled in their catch, they found one enormous fish among it. It was too big and too late in the day to sell in the market, so someone suggested taking it to Yosef, since Yosef always bought something special, no matter what it cost him.
So they brought it to Yosef, and of course, Yosef bought the fish. He took it home, opened it up to clean it for his Shabbat table, and there, inside the belly of the fish, was the jewel.
In the Talmudic telling of this story, the rabbis end by saying: Kol hamalveh laShabbat, Shabbat pora’at lo. What we give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back.
This isn’t really a story about a curse, or a prophecy, or a very unlucky fish. It’s a story about two men and what they value.
Baltasar spent his whole life trying to protect a fortune from a future he couldn’t control. Yosef spent every single week on something he had no guarantee would ever come back to him.
But it did come back to him, and not just in the form of a jewel inside a fish. What we give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back, in a more joyful, more connected, more meaningful life.
I think about a family I worked with a few years ago. Two working parents, three kids, a calendar so full that dinner most nights happened in shifts, whoever was home first eating standing up at the counter. They decided, almost on a whim, to try one Friday night with candles and no phones. That one turned into most weeks. A couple of years later, the parents told me the thing they remembered wasn’t the food or the prayers. It was their teenager, who barely spoke to anyone most nights, started actually talking at that table, because for once nobody was rushing anywhere and nobody was checking anything. That’s the return the rabbis are envisioning when they say, “What we give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back.”
I hear so many more examples from our congregation. The empty-nester couple who recently moved to Center City and made new friends at Shabbat dinner. The unemployed professional who, despite having so many setbacks, found in Shabbat services a sense of gratitude for what they still had: health, family, a roof over their head. What we give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back.
When couples sit down with me before their wedding, I give them a version of the Newlywed Game, where each partner answers the same set of questions separately. Then the fun comes when we sit together and compare the answers. Where do I always start? Budgeting. One question asks each partner to guess how much the other spends monthly on items like clothes, transportation, subscriptions, and eating out.
Someone always looks a little surprised, not just because their partner spends thirty dollars on sushi for lunch every day, but because it hasn’t occurred to them that budgeting is something you’d talk about in premarital counseling in the first place. They expected love, or communication, or in-laws. But I tell them what our own finance committee here at Rodeph Shalom likes to say: a budget is a reflection of our values. It is a moral document.
A well-built marriage is one where two people name what they value, out loud, and then organize their lives around it, both money and time. That’s not just wedding advice. It’s exactly what Yosef did every single Friday; he knew what he valued, and he built his week around it. What would it look like if we did the same – if we put real value in honoring Shabbat, what would we have to do, and how would it affect our lives?
Close your eyes for a second and actually picture it. Not Shabbat in the abstract. Your Shabbat. What would it look like if we were able to prioritize it?
Maybe you’re single, and it looks like finally saying yes to that standing invitation. Maybe you’re early in your career, and it looks like friends who’ve decided Friday night at home beats another happy hour. Maybe you’re dealing with tots, and it’s all about the sensory experiences like eating challah and drinking that sweet grape juice. Maybe you’re new to all of this, still learning what these words mean, and it looks like just showing up and seeing what happens. There’s no one right way to do Shabbat.
Our young adults host Sha-BBQs, because apparently smoking meat and Shabbat go together better than you’d think. I run into congregants at Santucci’s all the time after services. Our young families gather for playdates after Tot Shabbat on Saturday mornings, because, as it turns out, toddlers and their parents need community just as much as anyone else.
A few years ago, our staff read Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering and discussed it together. Priya Parker, who’s spent years studying what makes gatherings actually work, teaches that a category isn’t a purpose. Knowing you’re hosting “dinner” tells you nothing about what that dinner is for.
That’s the difference between a meal and a Shabbat table. It’s intentionality: deciding what a particular Friday night is actually for, then letting the candles, the blessings, the same time every week hold that intention in place. Without it, Shabbat is just another dinner that happened to fall on a Friday.
Shabbat is countercultural. Saturday morning soccer games get scheduled without a second thought. Email doesn’t know what day it is. Protecting a Friday night here means going against a culture that treats constant availability as a virtue and rest as something you earn.
Everyone in this room who has managed even one Shabbat dinner, one Friday night with the phones away, or who has come to services regularly, even if you’re late, has done something genuinely countercultural.
Yosef’s extreme love of Shabbat is beautiful, but it’s not realistic for most of us. He’s spending money he doesn’t even have on a fish, week after week. What about savings? What about his kids’ education?! Shabbat doesn’t have to get everything from us. It just has to get something, a real line in the budget of money or time, not whatever’s left over.
The Torah gives us two different verbs for keeping Shabbat. Shamor, guard it. And zachor, remember it. Most of what gets written about Shabbat observance is built around shamor, around the guarding, the list of everything you’re not supposed to do. You’ve probably heard the term, Shomer Shabbes – someone who guards Shabbat by not using electricity or driving in a car. But there’s a whole other side: zocher Shabbat. One who remembers Shabbat. Defined not by the restrictions, but by what actually gets remembered and celebrated.
Here at RS, we host Pizza Shabbat for families with young kids, just as much a celebration of Shabbat as any quiet dinner for two or a table of unrelated friends. Picture that room. Sticky hands, sauce on somebody’s shirt, a song about a Shabbat dinosaur, candles lit, blessings said, and a whole room of people remembering Shabbat together and creating community.
Yosef didn’t need a mansion or thirteen boxes of gold. He needed one good fish and the will to spend on it. What we give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back.
Tonight begins the season of cheshbon hanefesh, our accounting of the soul, where we take the time to examine how our budgets reflect our values.
So here’s some accounting I’ll leave you with. If you give Shabbat a real place in your life this year, you will get something back. You will be less anxious, because for one day a week the emails and the notifications and the endless scroll of everyone else’s highlight reel will not be allowed in the room. You will find yourself less hungry for the next purchase, the next upgrade, the next thing you were sure would finally make you feel like enough. You will be more grateful, because gratitude is what happens naturally when you stop and actually look at the life you already have instead of racing past it toward the next thing. And you will be more connected to the people at your table and, if you let yourself notice it, to something larger than your own week.
Because this isn’t just about what Shabbat gives you. When you give to Shabbat, Shabbat gives back to our entire community. When you invite someone to your Shabbat table, you inspire them to celebrate Shabbat. When you come to services on Shabbat, you add your voice to our communal song. When you celebrate Shabbat in community, you are a part of a people who have done this together from generation to generation.
Ahad Ha’am, one of the great Jewish thinkers of the last century, put it this way: more than the Jewish people have kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jewish people. Every Friday night singing together in the sanctuary, every Pizza Shabbat, every Friday night candle lit anywhere in this world, isn’t just a private choice. It’s part of the same thread that’s held our people together for thousands of years, across every place we’ve lived.
So tonight, on this New Year, on this Shabbat, ask yourself what you want to give. Not just for the sake of your own happier, fuller, more connected life, though that reward is real. But for the sake of everyone who lit a candle before you, and everyone who will light one after you. Yosef didn’t know any of that when he bought his fish. He just knew what he valued.
This year, may we be called mokir shabbes – a community that treasures Shabbat.
Shanah Tovah. And Shabbat Shalom.

162nd Confirmation at Congregation Rodeph Shalom